The Christmas Angel Page 4

  Sara realized there was no way to get him out of the store before he was good and ready. She just had to play along.

  And where had Luke learned so much about diamonds? He was asking some very informed questions about weight and flaws and countries of origin.

  The saleswoman stepped away for a moment and Sara nudged him. “When did you turn into a diamond expert?”

  Luke shrugged. “I was at the dentist last week. There was an article about diamonds in Smithsonian. Fascinating stuff.”

  Right. Smithsonian magazine. More like A Guy’s Guide to Buying Chicks Expensive Stuff. That would be more Luke’s speed, Sara thought.

  The saleswoman suddenly appeared again, smiling coaxingly at Sara. “Would you like to try on the ring now?”

  Sara stared at her, feeling like a deer caught in the headlights. Luke picked up the ring, then picked up Sara’s hand. “Don’t be shy. I want to see how it looks, Sara.”

  He slipped the ring on her finger and met her glance. There was a sexy teasing glint in his eyes that touched her heart. She wasn’t sure what it was about Luke that drew her, but it worked every time.

  She glanced down at her hand. The ring did look lovely. It was just the right size, too.

  “What do you think?” he asked, smiling at her.

  “I . . . it’s . . . so . . .” Sara found herself atypically at a loss for words.

  She looked down at the ring again. This wasn’t a piece of costume jewelry. It was a real diamond, the kind people wear when they plan to get married.

  What was happening here?

  She suddenly felt smothered, as if she couldn’t get a breath of air. She yanked the ring off her finger and tossed it on the velvet mat.

  “I can’t do this.” She felt the saleswoman staring at her, as though she’d gone mad, but there was nothing she could do. She turned and bolted out of the shop.

  With her hands jammed in her pockets and her head ducked down, Sara walked at a quick pace down the crowded street toward Newburyport’s waterfront. She couldn’t think straight; she could hardly even see straight. She wasn’t sure if she felt shocked or just plain angry at Luke. Had that all been a huge joke? Or was it his not-so-subtle way of hinting he wanted to get engaged?

  She hadn’t even reached the corner before she felt a hand tug her shoulder and turn her around. Luke stared down at her, breathing quickly from his chase.

  “Sara, wait up. Where are you rushing to?”

  She didn’t answer him. She turned and started walking again, and he fell into step beside her. They walked along in tense silence for a while.

  Finally Luke asked, “Mad at me?”

  She glanced at him but didn’t answer. She wasn’t sure. It was hard to be mad at a guy for wanting to buy you a two-carat diamond. Still, there was something that had happened back there that just didn’t sit right.

  “You took me by surprise,” she said finally. “More than surprise, you tricked me into going in there. We’ve never even talked about getting engaged or any of that stuff. Now, all of a sudden, you want me to pick out a diamond ring?”

  Luke stood back and crossed his arms over his chest. He was wearing his favorite leather jacket with a dark grey turtleneck sweater underneath. He looked very attractive, which was an annoying thing to notice at a moment like this.

  “How else could I do it? You never want to talk about ‘that stuff.’ Every time I bring it up, you change the subject. You start talking about your job, your landlady, your cat—”

  “Okay, okay. I get the idea.”

  Sara sighed. She couldn’t deny it; the accusation was true. Luke did try to talk about their relationship and where it was going, about making a real commitment. She was the one who always avoided the conversation.

  “Just tell me one thing; would you have gone into the store with me if I had been up front with you?”

  Sara didn’t answer for a long moment. “No,” she said at last. “I wouldn’t have.”

  Luke winced, then said quietly, “See, that’s what I mean.”

  “No, I don’t see,” she insisted. “It seems to me if I wouldn’t have gone in willingly, that’s all the more reason not to . . . bamboozle me.”

  He rubbed the corner of his eye with his fingertip. It was a nervous gesture he had when he didn’t want to lose his temper.

  “The thing is, once you went in and tried on the ring, you seemed to enjoy it, Sara. I was there. I saw you. It wasn’t exactly torture.”

  He had a point. What was she complaining about? Most of her single girlfriends were stuck in just the opposite situation, trying to figure out a way to trick their boyfriends into the jewelry store. And she had enjoyed trying on the ring. She’d never worn a diamond before. She understood now why they were so special and symbolized so much.

  All the more reason to be upset at Luke for tricking her.

  “That just isn’t the way I want to choose a ring or get engaged to someone. I want to do it in a thoughtful way. I’m not an impulsive person. If you don’t know that about me by now—”

  Luke raised his hands in surrender. “Okay, I get the point. That was too spur of the moment for you, too off the cuff.”

  “That’s right. You know I’m not like that.”

  “Yeah, I know,” he said. “It’s just that sometimes you can miss out by trying to plan everything so carefully. Sometimes you just jump in feet first and it feels right. Didn’t you ever feel that way, Sara?”

  Yes, getting involved with you, she wanted to say. But she didn’t tell him that. Instead, she twined her arm through his. “I know what you mean, but this is too important.”

  They continued down the street to the harbor. She could tell he wasn’t happy and probably not done talking about the situation, but at least they weren’t arguing anymore.

  The night was clear and calm. Sara found the chilly air refreshing, clearing her head after the stuffy little shop.

  Built on a large hill during the colonial era, the village of Newburyport rose up behind them like a folk art painting, the famous gilded steeple a focal point, the winding streets paved with stone, and millions of glittering white lights rimming rooftops and trees, setting the town aglow for the holidays.

  They walked along the harbor for a while, then sat close together on a bench facing the bay. Settled under Luke’s arm, Sara nestled against his warm, strong body. She didn’t need to talk. She didn’t want to.

  If only they could stay just like this, without any conflicts or changes, without taking any huge, life-altering steps. What was wrong with just being together? Why did their relationship have to change?

  “I’m sorry, Sara. I guess I should have brought this all up even if it’s difficult to talk about. I want us to get engaged for Christmas. That’s what I’ve been thinking of. That’s what this is all about.”

  Sara sat without answering. She was surprised and not surprised. Certainly their trip into the jewelry store had given her some hint. Still, the idea of taking such a momentous step made her stomach clench. She knew in an instant that she wasn’t ready, and wouldn’t be in time for Christmas.

  Finally, she looked up at him, her eyes wide. “Luke . . . I just don’t know . . .”

  “No, wait. Let me talk first. When I came here two years ago and we first met, I was a mess. My life was a big blank. I wasn’t a cop anymore. I’d lost my identity, my reason for getting up in the morning. I had no idea what was going to happen to me. But I came to this place and I found myself here. My real self, not just the cookie-cutter identity my father had stamped on me.” He turned to her and smiled into her eyes. “I couldn’t have done that without you, Sara. I would never have stayed if you weren’t here. You know that, don’t you?”

  She nodded slowly, feeling almost moved to tears by his heartfelt admission. When she thought back to the days when they first met, she saw it much differently, casting herself as the wounded one who had come to Cape Light in search of her birth mother, Emily Warwick. She had felt too fr
ightened and conflicted to confront Emily and confess her real identity.

  Luke was the only one who knew her secret, who encouraged but never judged her. He wasn’t the only reason she had stayed in Cape Light, but she couldn’t imagine her life without him, without his loyalty and love.

  “I could never say this to you before,” Luke went on. “But I finally realized I’m in a good place now. I’m happy with my life and proud of what I’ve accomplished with New Horizons.”

  Luke had set up a center in Cape Light to help at-risk inner-city kids before they wound up in trouble. After some initial local resistance, the program was now thriving.

  “I’m ready to take a new step in my life with you,” he went on. “I want to get married and have some kids of our own. I love you, Sara. I want us to start a real life together.”

  Sara swallowed hard. She didn’t know what to say. It wasn’t that she didn’t love Luke. Since meeting him, she had never seriously considered dating anyone else. She had had a brief flirtation with Dan’s son, Wyatt Forbes, during the short time he ran the newspaper, but Wyatt had never really mattered to her. It was always Luke.

  But marriage? Children? Those were words for someday, a place far off in her life agenda.

  Before she could put her feelings into words, Luke leaned forward and gripped her shoulders. “I know why you got so mad at me. I forgot to propose. That was it, right?”

  He slipped down on one knee and took both her hands in his own. “Sara—” he began.

  “No, don’t.” Sara took his face in her hands and kissed him hard on the mouth. “I love you, Luke,” she said, drawing him to his feet. “I love you so much . . .”

  They kissed again, holding each other close. But as Luke pulled back, she could see that he thought she had been saying yes to his still unspoken proposal.

  Sara bit her lip and looked down, unable to meet his gaze.

  “You don’t want to. Is that it?” His voice was soft, but she heard the sharp edge of hurt and sadness.

  She looked up at him again. “I’m the one who wouldn’t have made it all this way without you.”

  He shook his head slowly. “That’s not what I’m asking you.”

  She took a breath. “I’m just not ready yet. I know it’s hard for you to understand, but you’re in a different place than I am right now.”

  Luke was ten years older, a difference that usually didn’t matter between them. She knew that he didn’t like to be reminded of it, but maybe it was more important than they had realized.

  Sara chose her words carefully. “Please try to understand. This is all coming at me so quickly. So out of the blue.”

  “We’ve been together for two years now, Sara. We’ve talked about the future, spending it together. It can’t be that much out of the blue.”

  “Luke, please. You know what I mean. I need some time. Christmas is just too soon for me.”

  He stepped back and stuck his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket. His brooding look reminded her of the past, of the expression he wore when they first met. She had been drawn to him despite it. Or maybe because of it.

  “I thought that’s what I’ve been doing, giving you time. How much time do you need? Do you even know?”

  She shook her head mutely. What a question. Unanswerable.

  He let out a long breath and turned away, walking farther down the dock. She didn’t follow. She didn’t know what more she could say. She knew that despite her professions of love, she had hurt him. And now she didn’t know how to make it better.

  She caught up with him, took his hand. “There’s no one else in the world I’d rather be with, Luke. I don’t know what I’d do without you. Please, just be patient with me?”

  He stared down at her, his expression unreadable. She couldn’t tell what his reaction was going to be and felt her heart beating hard against her ribs.

  Finally, he sighed and touched her cheek with his hand.

  “All right. Since we aren’t going to buy any diamond rings tonight, I guess we ought to have dinner. Any ideas?”

  “You choose. I’m hungry for anything,” she said quickly.

  He took her hand in his warm, reassuring grip, and they started back up the hill toward the town and lights. “How about that little Indian place on Choate Road?”

  “I was just thinking of that place. I’m really in the mood for tandoori chicken and those yummy breads.”

  “I knew that,” he said smugly. “See how well I know you?”

  Sara smiled despite herself. Why even answer when it seemed he could read her thoughts?

  “THERE’S DESSERT AND COFFEE IF EVERYONE’S READY,” EMILY ANNOUNCED, resisting her own urge to get up from the table.

  Sunday lunch at her mother’s house was often a challenge to her nerves, but today the gathering seemed particularly trying, maybe because they’d all been together just three days ago, on Thanksgiving. Or maybe because she dreaded more talk about the abandoned baby and was hoping today to outrun it.

  Emily tried to keep the momentum going—salad course, entree, dessert, coffee, and then home.

  “Coffee and dessert already? I’ve hardly touched my food,” Lillian complained, waving her silver fork in the air. Emily was not surprised. Her mother was the world’s slowest eater and much preferred airing her views to finishing her lunch. “It’s hard to eat with those children raising such a ruckus. Always fussing and jitterbugging around. They can’t seem to sit still for a minute,” Lillian added, glowering down the long table at her two grandsons, Jessica and Sam’s boys. Born in mid-September, Tyler was a little over two months and their adopted son, Darrell, was now eleven.

  “They’re just little boys,” Dan said. “I think they’ve been very good sitting at the table all this time.”

  “Maybe so, but it unsettles the digestion. I hardly feel as if the food is going all the way down.”

  Lillian glanced to her right at her old friend, Dr. Elliot, for confirmation. He chortled into his napkin. “Nonsense. Having children around keeps you young, keeps the blood flowing, Lillian. Didn’t you ever hear that?”

  “Mere common consensus hardly makes a statement true,” she replied.

  “You ought to talk less while you’re dining then,” Ezra told her bluntly. “Too much talking. That’s what makes you dyspeptic.”

  Lillian’s eyes widened. “Is that your diagnosis?”

  Dr. Elliot pushed up his gold-rimmed glasses with the tip of one finger. “yes, ma’am, it is. But I won’t bother to offer you my remedy for your troubles, at the risk of being asked to leave the table before dessert is served.”

  Dan laughed out loud, then deftly turned the sound into a cough. Emily saw her sister, Jessica, and her husband, Sam, both smother their reactions with their napkins over their mouths. No one but Dr. Elliot seemed able to speak to Lillian so boldly and get away with it, and even he didn’t always escape unscathed by her rapier tongue.

  A clattering from the far end of the table drew everyone’s attention. Sam jumped up. “Don’t worry. It’s just water.”

  He grabbed some linen napkins and quickly started to wipe up a wet spot on the table. It seemed that Darrell had tipped over his water glass.

  “I’m sorry.” Darrell stood up and stared around, looking embarrassed.

  “That’s all right, Darrell,” Emily said kindly. She grabbed a hand towel from the sideboard and quickly covered the wet spot. She placed a reassuring hand on her nephew’s shoulder. He did try so hard to behave well in his grandmother’s house. He had caused havoc the first time he had been here, though, and her mother had never forgotten it.

  “Is it broken? Is the glass broken?” Lillian stood up and glared at the boy. “That’s antique Waterford crystal, you know. That pattern is discontinued. It’s irreplaceable.

  “Nothing is broken, Mother, thank goodness.” Jessica stood up and righted the glass, showing her mother it was in one piece. “I don’t know why you won’t just give them plastic, or at leas
t some ordinary glasses that aren’t irreplaceable.”

  Lillian sniffed and sat down again in her armchair. “Why don’t we all just eat in the kitchen, off paper plates?”

  Good idea, why don’t we? Emily nearly retorted. But she held her tongue. Sam picked up the baby from Jessica’s arms and then took Darrell by the hand. “I’ll take the kids into the living room. They can play for a while.”

  Lillian’s eyebrows shot up. “Play? In my living room?”

  “We brought a few plastic baby toys, Lillian,” Sam said. “Tyler is a little young yet for touch football.”

  Her mother replied with a heavy throat-clearing sound as her son-in-law and the boys left the room.

  Emily cleared some plates and carried them into the kitchen. Jessica soon followed with another stack. “Is the coffee ready?” Her tone was desperate and Emily felt sorry for her.

  “It’s all done,” she said, pouring the coffee from the electric coffeemaker into the silver coffeepot her mother preferred. “Can you take the sugar and cream? I brought a pie and ice cream from the bakery.” She touched her sister’s arm as she brushed by. “I’m sorry Mother’s such a pill about the boys. I love having them here.”

  Jessica smiled quickly at her. “Thanks. I guess I have to stop expecting her to be any different. Sam’s family makes such a fuss over Tyler. You would think he was the first baby ever born in the world.”

  Emily laughed. “As it should be.”

  “Any news about the baby you found on the green?”

  Emily picked up the tray that held the coffee, pie, and ice cream and started toward the dining room. “Nothing more to report. She’s undergoing tests. I guess they’ll know more tomorrow.” Emily set the tray on the table and started to pour the coffee. “The social worker said I could call her and get an update.”

  “What social worker? Who are you talking about? That baby you found on the village green?” Her mother peered up at her.

  “Yes, we were just talking about the baby, Mother,” Emily explained calmly. She had hoped to avoid her mother’s views on the topic, but there didn’t seem much chance of that now.